Some of you might have some memories about the fact that around 2 years ago I had already had some ‘Living with Depression’ chapters published, but then they were taken down after quite an advice from my mental guru, who suggested that it might not be a good idea to be a fashion blogger, or a person involved in fashion, and at the same time talk about such thing as depression.
And, to be honest, on one hand she is right. As who would love to be associated with such a problem, while making a career in fashion? Especially when this sort of career is at least partially public. But on the other hand, I’ve seen so many publications being shared about the fact that mental problems are a serious issue in the world of fashion.
Then, I’ve also noticed some of my favourite bloggers and influencers, like Amy Song of Song of Style and Janice Joostema, sharing their stories of the battle with mental problems. And I don’t think that such openness somehow did harm their images as amazing bloggers in any way. Absolutely contrary, it only showed me that they are just like me, personalities with their own ups and downs.
And, finally, the last moment that convinced me to get back to sharing this topic is the fact that it’s been already 2 years since I’m into medication and I really do see changes in my condition, in my mood and in my thoughts about depression itself. Plus, I still see a huge misunderstanding of depression and other mental issues among people in Latvia – they do consider it as something distant or some sort of fun even.
I mean, I remember a comment on my Facebook page from a woman who wrote something like ‘Is it a new fashionable kind of thing among people these days?’. You know, I wish it would be a fashionable, or trendy, kind of issue. But, unfortunately, it’s not. For millions of people around the world today it’s not a game or a way of being just in trend. It’s a battle. A battle that in some cases costs people’s lives, like in the case with Chester Bennington.
So, here we go once again… My name is Anna and I was diagnosed with endogenous depression back in early 2018. A depression that is caused by inner factors, rather than outer ones like, for example, problems at work or personal life and so on. To be more precise, my case is about failure in the operation of the certain brain receptors. Therefore, my serotonin system works not as usually. But ever since the beginning of 2018 I’ve been using antidepressant that so far helped me a lot.
Have to say that my way to this medication and the recognition of the fact that am really seriously depressed was quite long. It seriously took me about a year to accept the fact that it’s only antidepressants that will help me in this situation. I was so afraid it will make my condition worse and make me suicidal on one hand and was sure I should get out of this myself on the other hand.
At some point I felt like something should be seriously changed. I was so tired most of the time and was tired of sticking to life I was exposed to, or got used to actually. Plus it was the situation with Chester and a wave of stories with people who showed their face of depression. I remember sitting in front of my mental guru after reading one of such articles and I did burst into tears. That was sure the moment I realised I do need serious help, and that I myself am one of those face of depression.